Don Trumpet has lifted the trade sanctions he recently imposed on Slovenia, the birthplace of his wife Melania, after a new bronze statue of Melania was erected to replace the wooden statue of her that was burned down by arsonists earlier this year.
Trumpet indicated, “The swift response to replacing the wooden statue of Melania, that was carved from a Slovenian tree, warms my heart.” Although the statue was considered crude and resembled a generic Smurf-like figure, Trumpet interpreted the quick replacement as a sign of Slovenia’s love not only for Melania, but also for himself.
“I only pray that they will soon replace the statue of myself that was also accidentally inflamed last year,” Trumpet commented. The nearly 26-foot high construction, erected last year in a village in Slovenia, showed Trumpet with his trademark hair style, blue suit, white shirt and a long red tie. His right arm and clenched fist were raised high like that of New York's Statue of Liberty.
“My understanding is that a local artist is working on a golden replacement for my statue but there is a slight delay in confiscating the gold rings and jewellery from the locals to be melted down.”
After the inexplicable destruction of the two statues, Trumpet immediately imposed a 20% sanction on the import of illicit pharmaceuticals, handguns and hair spray from Slovenia. “It is only fair to repay their kindnesses of replacing the statues with the removal of the tariffs,” Trumpet beamed! “Slovenians know how to love and show respect to their heroes!”
