As Hurricane Delta hit the United States, President Trumpet declared, “I am not going to take it anymore!” As the tenth named storm to hit the US this year made landfall, Trumpet blasted, “These hurricanes have all originated in Africa and I am not going to tolerate it any longer. Every time they strike Florida I have to cancel my golf game.”
Most of the hurricanes are spawned off West Africa’s coast near Cape Verde when hot dry Sahara desert winds meet cooler, wetter winds from the South Atlantic. “Unless the responsible African nations take suitable action to reduce these storms I will be imposing sanctions on Cape Verde immediately,” Trumpet declared.
When advised by his staff that hurricane formation was a natural phenomenon, not generated by human activity, Trumpet snapped, “I will be sending my son-in-law, Jared (I Know Everything) Kushner to head up a task force to reduce the temperature of the Saharan winds and negotiate a stoppage to these destructive hurricanes.”
The fact that the US does not import anything from the Cape Verde island-nation did not deter Trumpet from his sanction threat. “If I can’t slap a tariff on something, then I will use my dark felt marker to delete them from the world map. See how they like that!”
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