Informed sources within the White House have confirmed that President Trump has selected the location to deliver his acceptance speech during the upcoming GOP Convention.
In addition, Trump declared, “My speech is going to be the most memorable political event of this century. I plan to mould it around a number of historical events that have shaped my great country.”
“I shall begin the spectacle by simulating the chopping down of a small cherry tree and, of course, stepping forward to admit my misbehaviour, as a display of my honesty and humility. Future generations will likely refer to me as “Honest Don.”
“I will speak from the steps of the court house in Trenton, New Jersey which was the destination in 1776 when George Washington so bravely crossed the frigid Delaware River in a small boat to attack the British Army.” It is anticipated that Trump will ceremonially cross the river in a Navy Gunboat dressed in the uniform of the Continental Army. Trump also chose to wear the tricorn hat rather than the stovepipe hat made popular by Abraham Lincoln. Trump commented, “My red MAGA baseball hat was given some consideration, but Kellyanne thought I might look silly!”
“I have taken the liberty to rewrite the Gettysburg Address to better reflect present times. I shall replace, “Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.” My own version will begin, “Three and a half years ago, a great man was elected to prevent a great nation from sinking into a swamp (which I will drain) and be dedicated to the notion that some men are created equal, more or less…
No comments:
Post a Comment